4 Reasons Every Parent of a Teenager Should Be Watching ‘Sex Education’

Enter “Sex Education,” a show that both you and your teen should be watching. Don’t be deterred by the title of the Netflix series, which is now in its third season. It’s about so much more than just sex. And its educational value goes way beyond the basics of the birds and the bees.

Here’s why the show is seriously binge-worthy and how watching it could become a secret weapon in your parenting arsenal. 

The last thing teens want to do is hear about their parents’ perspective on sex and they’re often hesitant to share their own questions and experiences. Sometimes the best way to talk to your teenager about sex is to take the focus off them and off you. Your teen might not divulge details about their personal life, but they’ll probably give you their opinion on a hilariously awkward television plotline. 

Having a dialogue about fictional characters with real-world problems is more valuable than you might think. It’s a great way to find out what your teenager really thinks about taboo topics. With the spotlight off their own life, it becomes easier for them to open up and be honest.

The great thing about “Sex Education” is, it’s funny and it’s real. Unlike shows like “Degrassi” or “The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” it doesn’t preach that having sex will ruin your life and your senior prom. Bringing humor and levity to your conversations about sex will help both you and your teenager relax. It’ll also elicit far fewer eye roles. Even if your teen doesn’t watch the show, using examples from it can be a great way to break open these kinds of conversations.

Although the throughline of “Sex Education” is candid conversations about sex, it’s really a show about adolescents navigating relationships and life in general. It’s also about parents, particularly a single mother and sex therapist named Jean, played brilliantly by Gillian Anderson.

The characters navigate friendship drama, school and sports stress, dating, and embarrassing parents (not that your kids would know anything about that!). We were all teenagers once, but sometimes we forget just how awkward, confusing, and stressful that period was. 

Getting ourselves back in that teenage mental space helps us meet our kids where they’re at. Even if we think that the problems our teens are facing seem small, they probably feel astronomically important to them right now. Putting ourselves in our kids’ shoes is always a good exercise, whether we’re talking to them about sex or anything else.

We all know there are gaps in the sex education programs in most high schools, but what about the gaps in our own knowledge? Even as fully grown adults with teens of our own, there are things we don’t know about sex, sexuality, and the human body.

“Sex Education” isn’t afraid to get specific, and as a result, it’s highly educational. How much do you know about asexuality or Vaginismus? Season two covers both thoughtfully. The more information we’re equipped with as parents, the better advice we can give our children. 

In season three, a new gender-fluid character named Cal is introduced. Cal uses they/them pronouns, something that was unheard of when Boomers and Gen Xers were growing up but has become increasingly common. Many parents want to talk to their kids about this cultural shift, but don’t know where to start. “Sex Education” gives parents a realistic look into the world kids are navigating today. Even if your teenager has never heard of the show, watching it will give you more insight into their experiences and help you speak their language. 

“Sex Education” focuses on a high schooler named Otis who finds himself giving his peers sex advice in exchange for money. His mother is a sex therapist, so what he lacks in real-life experience he makes up for in theoretical knowledge. Otis and his peers soon begin to realize that every problem, sexual or otherwise, has a solution. Suddenly no question is too embarrassing to pose out loud. 

The show provides an excellent model for talking about difficult subjects and finding solutions. It preaches communication and empathy rather than silence and shame. But it also serves as a good reminder for parents that when our kids lie or hold back information from us, they aren’t always trying to be disobedient. Sometimes the underlying issue is shame or fear.

In season two of “Sex Education”, a Chlamydia outbreak at Otis’s school leaves everyone jumping to unkind and incorrect conclusions about who patient zero is. Rather than contribute to the rumor mill, Otis helps clear his classmate Fiona’s name and educates his peers on what Chlamydia actually is and how it spreads. When the real source of the outbreak is identified, Otis is kind and understanding. His advice to patient zero sounds a lot like what his mother might say: the key ingredients for healthy sexual activity are trust, talking, and truth.

Your teenager doesn’t need to watch “Sex Education” (especially not in the same room as you!) for it to have a positive impact on your communication with them. Otis tries to avoid discussing sex with his mother, yet her views on the subject have nonetheless become an integral part of his worldview. How you think and talk about sex will have an impact on your teen. When we practice and preach open-mindedness, our kids see that their honesty and vulnerability will not be punished.

We all want our kids to feel comfortable talking to us about anything. For that to happen, we have to increase our own tolerance for awkward conversations. We have to admit that we don’t have all the answers and be open to taking in new information. We have to be willing to see things from our kids’ perspectives, even when we think we know best. 

“Sex Education” is a great place to start.